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01 October 2008 @ 07:58 am
I'm going to use writing here to try to get my anger under control  
I am once again having a hard time functioning because of intense anger about current national and world events.

I have a long history of temporary struggles with depression, but these bouts of traumatic anger over external happenings are new.

This is the third one.

The first was right after Katrina, three years ago.
 
The second was two years ago, triggered by anger over the decimation of local bus transportation.
 
Of course these were just the spark events, like the last straws added to stacks of related issues that I was very upset about.

This time, what is being called the "Wall Street Bailout" has turned me into a volcano of rage again.

Because I never experienced these bouts of traumatic anger until I was 51, I am still learning how to handle them.

I began this journal two years ago as one of my responses to the last outbreak.

I've found that it helps me clarify my thoughts and discover strategies.

I need to do these things now so I can get through the immediate future guided by carefulness and planning, not by all this raw emotion.

I'll try to begin maybe at lunchtime today here at work. Hopefully I can start writing out what all this means to me and why I am so frightened about the stupid things being done and why I think they are so bad.

And the emphasis will be on coping with the coming aftermath, not on ranting about the stupidity while it is happening, even though the urge is so strong.