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27 May 2011 @ 12:51 pm
Hoping things will settle down everywhere  
First of all, I need to mention that I am not able to get back to Ohio by Memorial Day weekend, which begins today. Instead, I am now aiming to be back Saturday, June 10th.

Every morning this very hot week I've pulled into the marina, let the cat off the boat so he can go into the shady woods next door, and drove into downtown Deland. Every evening, I've called Ghost back to the boat, launched back out into the river, and dropped the anchors just outside the marina. I need to keep doing this because I'm simultaneously preparing to return to Ohio for the summer and dealing with a real estate deal that has become quite complicated (see the last entry).

This is too stressful, with lots of time on the phone and in the county courthouse and the attorney's office. Time in the library, the coffee shops, and the street-corner parks helps a little but I still feel like some kind of refugee. I know it's because my background situation is so stressful anyway. -I've always read that change in work routine and a move to a new address, both of which I experienced in the last twelve months, are serious psychological stressors. I made it even worse by going over a thousand miles, going to where I knew nobody, and making my new shelter a floating one, more vulnerable to stormy weather. And then I'm obviously a little paranoid about the weather anyway, since I spend so much time reading the latest books and science journals about global warming research.

I think the historic tornado disasters in April and May have been the last straw, even though they were not in Florida. I say this because I've had nightmares again every night about storms.

I'm doing what has worked in the past -I remind myself that this is not any kind of Armageddon. For example, the three big tornadoes in 1953 were even more bizarre than what has happened this year, so nothing new is happening. (There is always something to be paranoid about. -In '53, there were hearings in congress to determine if nuclear tests in Nevada were the cause of the Flint and Worcester tornadoes.) And I used some of my time at the library to finish reading a new climate book that just came out in March, "Deep Future" by Curt Stager, a paleontologist. Like me, he has accepted the fact that the human race is NOT going to come together to avoid the worst-case scenarios. So it is time for scientists like him to explain in greater detail what lies ahead. His book focuses on the longer term -many centuries and even millions of years. When I look at the greenhouse effect in this way, it helps to defuse what's left of my anger that humans are letting this happen and trying to deny it. It just becomes another inevitable mass-extinction event, like the Yucutan asteroid. I don't know why this works but it does. -Whenever I contemplate the longer term, the "serenity prayer" seems to work better: "Lord, grant me the strength to change the things I can, the serenity to deal with the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference".