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13 November 2011 @ 07:49 am
I may be at a fork in the road  
Life changed dramatically in September for America, and then for Dayton in October. Right before that happened, without even fully realizing it, I was becoming like a monk, interested only in nature and outdoor pastimes and contemplation. It started when I began meditating a lot a few years ago, and then when I quit working a normal job probably forever in mid-2010 I really became focused on this minimalist life.

What now?

What is better for my physical and mental health and for my ability to help others?

I know the quieter, pre-revolution life is better for reading, thinking deeply, being attentive, and for writing, all of which I thrive on.

But it is inward and is lonely on many days.

The radically different other life that I just lived for about five weeks is beautifully social, exiting, and filled with many chances for compassion. But it's extremely frenzied, because most others in this new revolution are still plugged in to all the distractions I abandoned -TV, movies, pop culture, and so on. I have no complaint at all about this, because I just love that they are fighting for the same things as me. The frenzy does rub off on me though, and then I get kind of crazy too. Even I can start acting like I am living in some kind of movie, rather than just sloshing through the drudgery of reality. I feel attractions like I have not experienced since my twenties, and these consume lots of energy, which is probably more useful for other things.

Which of these two appealing lives should I make my dominant one from now on?

For example, when I get to Florida the end of this week, should I continue all winter to go out to remote places for many days, only seeing other people when I come in for supplies at the marina?

Or, should I always stay close to the marina and my new piece of land, and walk over to Amtrak every morning to get the train to protest down in Orlando?

Maybe I can decide this while I am driving down Thurday. It is a long trip, so I will have lots of time to think.