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08 February 2012 @ 11:50 am
quieter moods now  
Well, it's early February and I'm not depressed. This is the second winter I'm totally in Florida, but last winter really does not count because it was such a radical change for me that the stress was tremendous. My life is still just in the beginning of a long new phase and I am still just starting to consider what I want the rest of it to be like.

There are so many possibilities that I am reluctant to even write as often because I do that when I've figured things out, not when I'm still just observing each day and contemplating.

One thing that I seem to be noticing that is probably significant is that I am quite different now than a few months ago even though my mood remains bright. I've been reading that everybody has rhythms in serotonin, and melatonin, and adrenalin, and thyroid, and testosterone. This is why I was more aggressive and compulsive and "wild and crazy" in late summer and fall but now I am more like a nature monk again. Even as recently as mid-January I still had a big desire to go in town every day and spend time with the people there. Now I am much more introverted and quiet and can't wait to get back here on the water every afternoon after my early supper to be with the sky and all the birds. I listen to lots of music out in this lake here I call "South Lake" where nobody else is around so I can turn it up loud. (This new thing called I-Heart Radio is fantastic.) I neglect to keep up with what Occupy is up to even though I know how important it is to me and instead I spend my time thinking nostalgically about things from the past like picnics or trips or vacations. I think about Mom, which is good and healthy. (She just died in 2006.) I even keep wanting to just daydream about ordinary days too, like even just a work day thirty years ago for example. These flashbacks are always pleasant even if there was nothing important to make me remember these events.

These introverted days will probably continue until I come back to Ohio as early as next month. I say this because the rhythm of the mood hormones swings from October to April from what I've read. I wont fight this. If I want to be compulsive, or aggressive about my political convictions again like the good old days last fall, I'll just have to wait until the mood pendelum swings back that way in June or whenever. These wistful days are good for me too, like yin is good for yang.

But about that return to Ohio...I've decided to plan it as a "window" of possible dates, from March 15th to April 15th. It will depend on the weather in both places. -Whenever it gets hot and uncomfortable down here but nice in Ohio I'll lock everything up and head north.

As far as what else has been going on, not that much...

I added three windows to my boat cabin and hung a white curtain in front of the fourth side where all the shelves are. This way I can leave the shelves cluttered with stuff and not have to look at it. (The place looks like a fancy yacht inside now!) And when it's still chilly in the morning I can still cruise around without being outside because the steering remote control works fine from inside and I can see where I'm going through the new windows.

Over on my land I still marvel at how much nicer it is than I expected -no mosquitos or puddles, and so bright and open. The new little ferns, which are the understory, are coming up now but you can still just walk everywhere in there with no obstacles. I put my green screen tent up near the middle for when I want to read in the woods. I got a camo tarp for my porta-bote for when I leave it tied up over there.

I need to not let ear mites infest Ghost again. This is the third time he got them since I adopted him in late 2009. I don't notice he is uncomfortable until it gets bad. He is so happy again today now that the ear drops from two days ago killed them. That's usually all it takes -just one or two applications.

But he was feeling so frisky yesterday that when I parked by the tiny island he likes to play on he tried to jump on his favorite log before I was close enough to it and he got completely soaked. He spent the rest of the day on the boat just licking his fur dry.